By Susan Briscoe

 My ex-husband just returned from his honeymoon in Thailand. He had a wonderful time: the beaches were beautiful, the people kind, the weather wonderful. He and his as-yet-childless wife even had two nights at the Shangrila in Bangkok. They were thoughtful and returned with nice gifts for me and the boys. One of my friends commented that he was lucky to be having a second honeymoon. But actually, it was his first since we never had one.

So what did I do while my ex was on this enchanted excursion? Well, I looked after our son, who chose these three weeks to fall ill three times. First the flu, for both of us. Then his first ever asthma attack. Then a throat infection. One Friday night at two in the morning I was up, phoning for medical advice, trying to decide whether his asthma required an immediate trip to the hospital or whether he could continue struggling for breath until morning. I was reluctant to go to the emergency room right away because at the same time my other son was delirious with fever: it was his turn with the flu. But we all survived the night.

I soon realised that the asthma was caused by the plaster dust from some minor work being done in our home. So, we moved to his dad’s apartment, which of course was vacant since he was on his honeymoon. We ended up having to stay there for ten days, until the work was finished and I had the opportunity to go home and clean out dust for two days while the kids stayed with their grandparents.

All in all, it wasn’t fun.

So what did I learn this time? That life is not fair. Which is fine. It never promised to be fair. We each have different lessons to learn at different times. This was my ex’s time for fun and adventure, romance and luxury. Perhaps he had his own private lessons to learn too. It was my turn to learn to be even more present for my children, to learn again how to be in the moment. I knew I could stew over the apparent injustice of my situation in comparison to his. But that would only serve to make me bitter and jealous, which I know already aren’t constructive feelings to cling to. So I did my best to accept the circumstances the Universe saw fit to create for my life at this time. It was hard, but there are gifts in it. It might take me a while to fully appreciate these gifts, but I know they are there. They always are. Perhaps the most important gift is simply the freedom and peace that comes with acceptance.