Implications for PBSP

Up til now a general trend is sketched of matriarchy and patriarchy belonging together as two sides of a coin. But in individual cases a great variety in respect to matriarchal or patriarchal settings exists. Clients come from different backgrounds. Sometimes the background is overall patriarchal, father dominating also at home. And the reverse, mother dominating both at home and in the outside world, happens also. Sometimes clients take repeatedly about a dominating father, expecting great performances. A patriarchal family background is shown as manifest. But hidden behind this a matriarchal setting exists also: a mother claiming the child for satisfaction of her own needs, without a father protesting against this.

For PBSP practice this means we have to look carefully from what context a client speaks: matriarchal or patriarchal, and we should be conscious that the background can change during therapy.

Both in patriarchal and in matriarchal context there are two parties: a dominant and a subservient one. The dominant party needs in the first place limitation, the subservient one needs firstly confirmation. One important question is: with which party does the client identify? Does he/she need limitation of confirmation? This has also implications for the content of the ideal parents. They should be a model for a good “marriage” of the masculine and feminine. In a matriarchal context the presence of a caretaking father and a mother who is willing to share her mothering power are important. In a patriarchal setting a “potent” mother and a father who recognizes his own limits and those of his wife and children are necessary.