The greatest gift that AA has given me is the ability to live in the present moment. At first I used it as a last resort to stay away from the first drink. Today I use it to stay focused in the perfection of God’s world, in this very moment. Emmet Fox, describes the present moment as a place of absolute peace, where we can fully feel, and embrace our lives. When I was new in the program I learned the meaning of this simple saying: “yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is but a dream, so live in today.”

I have dealt with life on life’s terms often in my sobriety. Each time, it seemed as though time was compressed. Every thought, every breath, every feeling was so vivid I could touch it. About a year ago, I had an experience which pulled me back into the moment, and I clung to every second as it passed by. It was a wonderfully cool August day. The air was inviting for that time of year, filled with a freshness that seldom happens in August. Instead of feeling heavy with humidity, this ay was light and breezy. It seemed like a perfect day to enjoy my favorite past time – riding my horse. I invited my friend Janice to join me riding one of my horses. Being in the company of these gentle creatures and surrounded by miles and miles of beautiful trails is one of the many blessings of my sobriety.

We were riding through one of my favorite places, Cricket Valley, which is a working long-horn cattle ranch. The owners of Cricket Valley have been very generous to local horsemen and have allowed them to cross their land on marked trails that weave into and around their cattle pastures. The long-horns are used to horses and people as they are the stars of the Cricket Valley Rodeo every July.

I was riding my favorite horse, a wonderful pinto Paso Fino, who was a very spry 21 years old. My girlfriend was riding one of my younger horses. We meandered through the trail system, stopping for lunch and visiting with friends along the way. It was one of those special afternoons when you stop often to look around and enjoy the beauty of the countryside and count your blessings. We gaited the horses through our favorite trails and slowly walked through others. It didn’t matter to them, they just seemed to be enjoying the day as much as we were.

As any horsemen to explain the special bond between them and their mount and you find words just don’t describe the feelings they have for the very special steed in their lives. Every horse person has their favorite horse who just seems to blend into their lives and the pinto was mine. All my horses are my friends, but the more miles you travel with one horse, the stronger the bond becomes. Every step we took together, whether it was climbing a steep mountain in Pennsylvania or crossing a wide river in Tennessee, I trusted him absolutely to bring us both back safely. In the thousands of miles that we traveled together, he never once put me in danger, although sometimes we found ourselves in dangerous situations. He always carefully worked his way through a challenging trail with patience and courage.

One this day we approached one of the pastures where the long-horns were grazing, they began to gather slowly around us, quietly checking us out. I was feeling a little claustrophobic because of their sheer size and those immense horns. My old horse stopped and looked at them, feeling a little intimidated himself. I urged him on slowly. As he stepped cautiously forward, they would move aside. Another group of them came down from the pasture and up from the lake, crossing right in front of us. I told my girlfriend to stay behind me so that my younger horse would feel more secure. I had crossed through this section of trail before, but the cattle had never been milled around like they were that day. They seemed more intimidating. I was trying to slowly work my way through them with increasing uneasiness. My old horse must have felt my apprehension because he suddenly turned sharply to the side, veering away from the cattle, as if trying to get away from them.

I turned him back to face those intimidating long-horns again. All of a sudden he reared up in the air, turned to the right, and started falling over backwards. It seemed to take forever for us to come crashing to the ground. He fell directly on top of me, all 900 pounds! He hit the ground with an eerie moan. Then he scrambled to gain his footing. Somehow, I stayed in the saddle, unharmed. A few seconds later, he barely rose to his feet, and fell backwards again..I feared that when he had gotten his leg caught he had broken it. I was able to get my leg out from under him and roll away from him. His moans grew louder and more painful. My horse was dying.

Go To In This Moment Part Two

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