I calmly instructed Janice to get help. Her face was filled with horror and disbelief. “How could this be happening?” she gasped. One moment I riding along having the time of my life and the next moment my horse was dying.

I gently took off the saddle. There he lay, flat out, not struggling to get up. His breathing was shallow and labored with each moment. I laid down right beside him on the cold hard ground, stroking him gently. The cattle no longer intimidated me. I did not feel their immense presence as they curiously milled around me, only inches away, lowering their huge horns, in silence, and quietly snorting.

As I stroked his fine coat, I caressed him, knowing I could not save him from the inevitable. As his body stiffened and softened in spasms, I comforted him. A flood of wonderful memories of our time together came to me. I gazed at this beautiful animal taking in all his features. He was beautifully marked with solid spots of black, brown and white. Keeping him clean had always been a loving chore. His long snow white mane was the result of hours of combing and brushing and braiding. His jet black forelock framed large soft brown eyes against a wide white blaze. A unique contrast of white eyelashes over his right eye and his black eyelashes over his left eye, was a curiosity to all who met him. That compact body of his moved effortlessly under me when I rode him. He was a flowing pallet of color as he moved across the horizon.

Now those gentle brown eyes stared off into the distance, waiting patiently for eternal life.

In those moments, I fell in love with him all over again. I told him how much I loved him. To told him how grateful I was that he had safely carried me all those thousands of miles to all those spectacular places. I thanked him for being so much fun to ride and so gentle to be around. I nuzzled his soft clean coat, filling my lungs with his scent one last time, trying to mark its memory for the rest of my life.

It was just the two of us in those final moments, breathing in and out every second we had left together. I knew it was finally time to say goodbye and let him go. I took the bridle out of his mouth and with that, he drew his last, long breath, forever. After his last breath, I just sat there next to him still stroking his still warm body, crying tears of disbelief.

My old friend is buried at Cricket Valley. I cannot imagine a finer place to spend eternity. Every time I ride through Cricket Valley now, I say hello to hi, and thank him again for being in my life for all those years.

In those final moments I was able to be ‘still’ in a most profound way. I have framed those separate moments in my mind and I will treasure them always. Each moment gave me life and death, pain and pleasure. Each precious moment was a chance to say goodbye with my heart and finally feel his life gently slip away. I was totally at peace with God’s will. I surrendered to death and felt very much alive. It was a most incredible moment. . .

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