The other area in which prayer can be an invaluable tool is that of attracting and developing harmonious relationships. These can be relationships with people of the Opposite sex, friends, business associates, people who share common interests, and so on. Perhaps by understanding a few simple ideas concerning relation ships, you can avoid the experience of the disillusioned bride who, after one year of marriage, announced to her husband, ''I took you for better or for worse, but you are a lot worse than I took you for." A universal principle embraced by Unity is: Like attracts like. In terms of relationships, this means that you tend to attract to yourself people and conditions that reflect what you believe about yourself and what you expect out of life. Now this does not mean that you are directly and completely responsible for bringing every person you know into contact with you. Nor does it mean that you are personally responsible for creating every situation in your life. What it does is that you are responsible for the level of experience you have when you are with another or are involved in a particular situation you may be labeling negative.

For example, if you are involved in a relationship in which another person is taking advantage of you, you are allowing that level of relationship to exist and it is your responsibility to do something about it. Chances are, that person doesn't take advantage of everyone he or she relates to. There is a dynamic occurring for which two persons are responsible. You are not responsible for another's behavior. You are responsible for your reaction to their behavior, and your reaction to them determines the quality of your relationship. You have agreed to tolerate what you really feel is unacceptable behavior, and as long as you tolerate it, you will keep attracting it. In the most refined sense, then, it would be best to say that you attract the quality of the relationship you have with a person because of the standard by which you have chosen to operate. The same holds true with circumstances. When facing a challenging situation many people ask, "What did I do to bring this on?" This is the wrong question to ask. The right question would be, "What is it in my own consciousness that is causing me to view this as a negative situation? Why am I having the level of internal experience I'm having, and what can I do to raise it?" This attitude makes effective prayer possible, for it places the possibility for change in the only place change can be initiated-in your consciousness and in the present moment.

Be Yourself

One of the secrets of developing productive, meaningful relationships is to become the kind of person you want to attract. Relationships are often sought for the wrong reasons. The premise many people operate from in developing relationships is this: I am am incomplete person so I must go out and find a person who has what I lack. When I find that person, together we will be a whole person. Wholeness is an attribute of God and it is from within you that it must first be realized. If you do not have a consciousness of wholeness when you are alone, you will not have it ultimately when you are with another. A statement I always include in marriage ceremonies is this: "You are not entering this union (of marriage) because of what you lack but, rather, because of what you have to give." Whether the couples have the"ears to hear" at this point in their relationship I do not know. But it is a good attitude with which to enter into marriage. In my own experience, which I feel is appropriate to share with you here, I found myself searching for that perfect person with whom I could share my life. I felt a kind of void that I was certain could be filled y the right person. In my study of Truth I eventually began to realize that I did not need someone else in order to be a complete person; I was complete in and of myself if I could just realize it. I stopped searching for someone else and began learning to love and accept myself and to be happy alone. In time I began to experience the wonders of self-love and acceptance, not in a selfish way but in a way in which I could appreciate myself as an expression of God. One day as I was sitting in church minding my own business, Beth, my then future wife, came in and sat right next to me! We were not two weak people who were brought together out of a mutual sense of lack and need. Our paths crossed because we both desired to learn how to express the best and highest that was in us. Our individual pursuit of this desire caused us to recognize each other when our paths crossed and is responsible for the beautiful relationship we enjoy today.

Go To Attracting The Right Person Part Two

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